If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i think my tv is drunk
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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