When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
