oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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