I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
