Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
