Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
