The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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