Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I checked into jail on foursquare
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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