omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
