What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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