I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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