your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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