Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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