So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
