dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Randomize
