time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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