We won't sleep together?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
