I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
