It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Randomize
