Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Thank you for not boning my boss.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
