im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
