Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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