How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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