You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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