i don't like sucking hair
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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