Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
