Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
