I cockslap morals
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
