Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
