Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
