i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
