i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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