SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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