i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
and you fell through a lawn chair
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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