it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
