i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
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