I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
