He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize