we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
