shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
