I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
