I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize