Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
