I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
