I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I see more hoeing in ur future
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