he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
