whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
