I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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