my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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