anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
