it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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