i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
