it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
