Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
