DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
