I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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