I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
