Rock
Scissors
Fuck
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
