I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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