she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
